Black dog.

So this post is a tough one to write and I have definitely been over-thinking how to put it so here goes.

In October of last year I went to Singapore and Australia. I had the most amazing and eye opening weeks of my life so far. I landed back on a drizzly Sunday Morning, exhausted from nearly 24 hours of being awake and a particularly harrowing take off from Singapore Changi Airport.

Why am I saying this? Well when I arrived back I felt a terrible despondency - a feeling which I, for weeks if not months, attributed towards the change in weather and jetlag and just missing the remarkably different way of life which I experienced.

By December, however, this despondency was far worse. A number of Radio and Magazine articles appeared in the midst of all this, and given that by now I was attributing my dark mood and feelings to Seasonal Affective Disorder, I championed any mention of Mental Health in Men - without really reading or getting in to the statistics or any other info.

This month I decided to take my head from out of the sand, and here is the point of this Blog: I have depression. When I say this, I don't mean I feel sad. There are a whole host of feelings tied up in this: I feel anxious, isolated (even when I'm in a room full of people), and I feel a real self loathing which because my body doesn't do anything by half measures is also manifesting in Dysphoric and Dysmorphic sentiments.

The statistics surrounding suicide in Men are shocking and a quick search on Google will bear me out on that. I am lucky and eternally grateful for the facts that I have very loving family and friends who don't deny men the right to be open about their feelings. They will let me talk and cry things out and so I have the means of being able to vent and see that there is a point to getting up day after day. So many people do not have this option.

The song, 'What the World Needs Now' is beautiful and a true classic, but it's not solely love which will make a difference, it's communicating, and forgetting about gender stereotypes when it comes to men talking about feelings or hugging things out. We need to be then change we want to see in the world and we need to be able to speak out and call people out when these damaging stereotypes are being perpetuated.